The Everyday Girl Guide to: Relationships (Priorities)

April 13, 2012

All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a mom.  I had career dreams here and there: oceanographer, fighter pilot, world-famous author.  But in the end, it all came down to wanting to bear and raise children.

It skewed my priorities a bit.

When I dated, I accelerated my relationships into high gear because my primary goal was marriage and kids.  When I married, I married the guy who proposed to me, even though he didn’t share my faith and I had enough doubts to break off the engagement once.

Then the kids started coming.

I quit my job, clipped coupons and budgeted voraciously so that I could stay home with my kids, even when we still lived in California.  I planned, scheduled, and constantly kept learning new ways to better organize and run my child-centered life.  When the kids were old enough, I started homeschooling.

For a little while, I was in my personal version of vocational heaven.

I remembered to spend time with my husband.  I set-up date nights.  I tried to take care of all the things around the house.  I never once said “no” to him.

Eventually it was not enough.

First, I’d drastically rewritten my internal expression of my faith just to marry and have kids.  God wasn’t my focus.  Marrying and having kids was.  I didn’t go to my church’s pre-marital counseling and I got married in Las Vegas.

Second, although I loved my husband in a friendly way, I was never “in love” with him and we never had the right kind of husband-wife relationship.

It just wasn’t enough.  And it never will be, when priorities get out of whack.  In my next post, I’ll try to explain my understanding of why.

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