The Everyday Girl Guide to: How Women Think

July 5, 2013

I follow a few male bloggers who regularly bemoan their inability to understand women.  (Actually, they regularly bemoan women’s inability to be understood, but since the flaw is obviously a male one, I decided to rephrase that.)

Here’s the thing: men aren’t meant to understand women.  Women are meant to teach them how to deal with an unknowable God.  We will never fully understand God; we’re not meant to fully understand Him.  Men will never fully understand women; they’re not meant to understand us.

Newsflash:  Women do not understand women either.  You didn’t think only men get an insight into not being able to fully know God, did you?

Even though I certainly don’t claim to understand women (hey, most of my closest friends are male or females with lots of male friends), I do understand how they think.  (You hush… we do think.)

By way of example, I offer Eve in the Garden of Eden:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

Genesis 3:6

This is the story of when Satan (successfully) tempts Eve into eating the forbidden fruit and thereby curses the earth for all humanity.  But it does tell how women think.

“… the fruit of the tree was good for food”

Contrary to what men think, 90% of a woman’s decisions are based on practicality.  They have to be, or we’d be overwhelmed.  Unfortunately, there’s a lot of misinformation out there and weeding through it can be confusing, so our “practical” decisions don’t always work.

One week we are eating low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb, processed diet shakes with every meal… the next week, we’ve discovered we need good fats, low-calorie causes our bodies to hang onto calories, low-carb for long periods taxes your liver (I think… see, even I get confused about this stuff and this is one of my passions), processed food is generally bad, and artificial sugars make you want more sugar.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

In spite of the confusion, behind all this is a desire for a practical decision: wanting something that is good for us.

“… and pleasing to the eye…”

It’s funny.  Men are thought to be the more visual half of the species while women are the more verbal (again, hush).  Yet it is women who worry over the aesthetic of beauty.  Decorating the home, staying in shape, trying to look young, dressing for success, wearing just enough makeup to look polished but not so much that we look easy… even the most tomboy-ish of us (yours truly) occasionally gets caught up in the “pleasing to the eye” aspect.

Men throw mismatched furniture into a room, build up a beer belly with pride, and never have to worry about makeup.   Honestly, men have it easy.

“… and also desirable for gaining wisdom…”

I think this is the aspect of how women think that men get the least.  Women need to know details.  Whether it’s following the Brangelina drama, finding out why Kari and Kim aren’t talking to each other, knowing why we aren’t supposed to be going South Beach any longer, or just understanding how a man’s mind works, we want insight, wisdom, and understanding.  We just want it in a way men don’t understand.  Really, we don’t understand it either.

I’d like to be able to just take something my boyfriend tells me and file it away, face-value, for the long-term.  But my brain instantly starts thinking about the reasoning behind what he said.

Okay, he said he really liked the lighting in my picture.  Does that mean he thinks I used to light it poorly?  Or maybe he thinks that the rest of the picture blows chunks and the lighting was the nicest thing he could say.  Or maybe…

Note one: my boyfriend has not, to this point, made this comment (and probably never will now).  I made it up to protect the innocent.

Note two: women don’t like being this way.  We’d like to have everything work out in our brains the first time.  Men being frustrated over us being this way just makes us more frustrated and irrational.

So, there’s why you don’t understand women in a nutshell: you don’t get Genesis 3:6.  Okay, so there are other bits to us, like hormones and spaghetti memory, but these three basics tend to drive most of how we think.

Now when men don’t understand us, they only have themselves to blame.


4 Responses to “The Everyday Girl Guide to: How Women Think”

  1. nancy Says:

    I have to disagree with you. Men don’t think and do not have the ability to understand woman. Is this a rant? Did your boyfriend make you upset? We,as women, are to submit to our husbands. (Eph 5:24) and men are to give themselves to their wives just as God did for His church (Eph 5:25). Does your man love you? Treat you with respect? Honor you? Is he a man of God? Does he attend church every Sunday? There are plenty of men out there, but God will lead you to the right one.

    • nancy Says:

      In no way did I find this “humorus”. It reads as a very serious issue. As you said “woman don’t understand woman”. To each is own.
      Be blessed.

  2. EverydayGirl Says:


    Please keep in mind that I write my blog with a touch of humor to it at all times. Not everyone gets that humor; I’m okay with that. But this was written more in response to a few of my friends’ posts about how THEY don’t understand women.

    God made men and women differently, I believe, very intentionally and, no, I don’t think we’re meant to entirely understand each other any more than we’re meant to entirely understand God. If you have any reference, Biblical or secular, that claims otherwise, please let me know. We think differently, focus on different aspects, and have different ways of processing information.

    My boyfriend is not a subject for general blog discussion. If he wants to have his life scrutinized, he’ll make his own blog. He is a good, Christian man… and my life is not the Kardashians. 🙂

    I believe strongly in submission and have since before I ever started dating. My understanding of submission may or may not differ from yours. However, I’m not married at the moment and submission is strictly husband-wife material, so it’s currently irrelevant to me, personally.

    I’m sorry that you don’t get the humor intended in this post; perhaps I was too subtle. That doesn’t change that it WAS intended to be humorous, however. I believe serious subjects are the BEST ones to deal with using humor… that includes the period when my family dealt with my dad dying of Alzheimers.

    “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ” Proverbs 17:22

    • nancy Says:

      There is nothing wrong with using humor to get through serious issues. I believe prayer is of importance as well. Philippians 4:6-7.
      My apologies to your boyfriend, I pray a long and happy life for the both of you on this new found journey.
      Be blessed.

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