Everyday Girl Guide to: Happiness (Emotional Inventory)

May 3, 2014

I missed my post yesterday, so I’ll be doing two today.  I don’t want to get behind and I think each step is important enough to not miss.

Today I’m taking an emotional inventory.  Over at the UCR Wellness Center, there are several items listed in their inventory:

  • Am I able to maintain a balance of work, family, friends, and other obligations?
  • Do I have ways to reduce emotional stress in my life?
  • Am I able to make decisions with a minimum of stress and worry?
  • Am I able to set priorities?

I would add a few of my own:

  • Am I able to be emotionally vulnerable to someone (anyone)?
  • Have I forgiven those who’ve hurt me in the past?
  • Have I asked forgiveness from those I’ve hurt in the past?
  • Does the slightest stress send me into a tailspin?

I’ve always been an emotional type.  I’m highly sensitive and I have more than my share of hormones to boot.  In an emergency, I shift gears, but outside of emergencies, little things can send me into a complete funk.  I’d say that means I’m lacking in emotional health.

I don’t have a balance of work/family/friends/life.  My life consists of work, Facebook, and weekends with my kids.  That’s about it.  No balance.  I need to start making friends.

I do have ways to reduce stress in my life.  One thing that having ulcerative colitis has actually been good for is that I work pretty consistently at reducing my stress.  I read, write, watch movies, go for a run, workout… it’s not perfect (where’s the bubble bath?), but it helps.

I can set priorities, but I’m not very good at keeping them.  I’ll need to work on that.

I’m not emotionally vulnerable to anyone and I really don’t trust people.  I can name four people in my life over the last five years who hurt me badly enough that I still cry myself to sleep over it a few nights a month.  Obviously, I haven’t forgiven them either.  I’m trying; I make a point of forgiving them daily.  But it’s not sticking.  I’m not sure about asking people to forgive me.  I’m sure there are people I need to ask, but I’m not sure who.

So… I have some work to do.  I’m not even sure where to start.  Two of the people I need to forgive have completely blocked me out of their life.  I’m pretty sure there’d be a restraining order if I went to talk to them (or even tried to call or email them).  The forgiveness is going to have to come from me without any outside help.  One of those people says he’s forgiven me, but makes it clear that not hurting me is not anywhere in his priorities.   There’s only one person I can actually do anything about.  I guess I’ll need to start there.

Here are my three short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals for emotional wellness:

Short-Term (3 Months)

* Talk to person #4 about forgiveness and open the lines for healing

* Do Beth Moore study “Get Out of That Pit”

* Count to ten before I react emotionally in times of stress

Medium-Term (1 Year)

* Make stress relief a daily part of my life

* Spend more time on the good things in my life than the bad

* Open up to someone and be vulnerable

Long-Term (5 Years Plus)

* No more crying to sleep

* Either heal my damaged bridges or leave them in the past

* Balance work, family, friends, and life


Are you coming on this journey with me?  Go do your honest assessment, then make your three goals in the three areas.  You can do it.  We can heal emotionally.

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