I ride the train pretty regularly in my commute to and from work.  On Wednesday, I was on my commute home and the train… stopped.  Just one stop before home and we were told it might be a while before it moved again.

I dithered about it for a while, but I finally got my bike off the train rack, pulled up energy I didn’t really have, and started biking for home: 11 miles.  I’m a good runner, but only a decent biker, so 11 miles largely along CA-118 was a daunting thought…. and a long ride.

It didn’t take long before I was offering up prayers for my safety, songs of thanksgiving when big 18-wheelers were kind enough to not make me roadkill (and draft me for 4.2 terrifying seconds to boot), and promises of eternal gratitude if I just made it home safely.

Then I started getting convicted.  That’s cheating, God.  I’m just saying.

You see, I’m having a forgiveness issue lately.  I used to never have a forgiveness issue.  I got mad, sure, but once it was over, it was over.  Not so much lately.  I have some legitimate bones to pick and I don’t feel like burying them and moving on.

But God wants me to move on for my own good.

Did I mention that’s cheating, God?

So, about halfway along the 118, I start getting angry about the stuff I haven’t forgiven.  Maybe I wouldn’t even be biking if those things hadn’t happened.  (Yeah, I probably still would.)  Maybe my life would be better.  Maybe…

Maybe you should get around to forgiving sometime soon and moving on.

Uh.  I don’t want to forgive.  I mean, yeah, I don’t like the fact that there are times I can get myself in an absolute dither just because I remember I’m supposed to be mad about this stuff, but… I was wronged!  If that person cared about me at all, they would apologize.  They wouldn’t have hurt me like that in the first place.

If you cared about them at all, you’d forgive them and understand that they may be dealing with things you can’t see.

Okay, maybe they are dealing with something.  I get that.  But do I have to be the scapegoat?  When I was going through stuff…

… you made a lot of mistakes and messed up quite a few people’s lives.  That was a lot to forgive.

I made a few mistakes.  Okay, yes, and there was a lot of forgiving.  But you’re God.  You’re supposed to forgive me because You love me!

You’re my child.  You’re supposed to forgive those who wrong you because you love Me.

Okay, seriously, God… that’s cheating.  But… I get it.

So, before I got home (in great time, I might add!), I made a commitment to forgive.  But it’s not over.  Oh, no.

Independence Day was July 4, 1776.  But that wasn’t when our country truly became free from England.  We just signed a piece of paper and fired a few shots.  True independence took years of pitched battles, sacrifice, and commitment.

Forgiveness and independence from my own bitterness is probably going to take the same.  But you have to start somewhere, right?

It’s a good day to have my own Independence Day.

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Alright, this detox thing is hard and, I have to admit, expensive.  Maybe it’s because I’m not used to it (I’ve never done one before) and don’t have the resources set up to do this.  Maybe I didn’t have a lot to detoxify (doubtful).  But doing this has been very, very difficult, especially on a tight budget.

I haven’t been doing my health journal.  I started out strong (and I did do my weigh-in last Friday), but I am so tired by the time I get home, make a from-scratch meal, make my meals for the next day, and get ready for bed that I just don’t feel like writing.  Still, I’ve planned out most of my meals and, even though I’m not being perfect about my plans, I’m sticking to it pretty closely.

I’ve only missed drinking my lemon water (always lukewarm) twice so far.  Once I made it up in the evening.  The second time I just skipped it.  I’m not certain it’s helping, but my colitis has been behaving.

I ordered my non-BPA bottles finally; can’t wait for them to get here.  I’ve been drinking around 64 ounces every day (eight 8-oz glasses), but by body weight, I should be drinking more like 75.  Seems like it would be easier if I could refill with healthy, filtered water anywhere.  I slipped up once and had a soda.  It didn’t really even taste good, but I was very tired and in need of caffeine.  I decided one drink wasn’t bad.

I slipped up on fast food/ processed food a few times.  I tried to make healthier choices when I did it, but tiredness and finances were a factor.  I sincerely doubt I will ever do a full month cleanse again.

I’ve been much better about sugar than anything else.  Fruit is starting to taste very sweet again… a nice result.

I joined my gym… I have yet to use it.  There have been various factors (time, mostly, but also the fact that I’ve started biking 9 miles a day in my work commute.

I’m in the process of reading The Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox.  It recommends a 21-day detox, another affirmation that a month is just too long.

I was doing better about using the farmers’ market before I started this.  Again, I’m tired and money is tight from the detox.

I haven’t found a good place for fresh fish, which is ridiculous, since I live 15 miles from the ocean.  I’ll try to work on that tonight.  I also didn’t do my recharge day in nature, but it was very cold this last weekend.

I’ve cut out grains (except when I’ve slipped up).  I really like quinoa, but am limiting myself to one serving every day or two.

I have a good source for grass-fed beef and haven’t had non-grass-fed beef so far this month.  Now I’ll try to not have any more red meat until the detox ends.  I also have a loofah for the shower, but not a dry brush.  I decided the dry scrubbing (tried with the loofah) was uncomfortable and made my skin a pretty shade of ouch.

I’m doing it out of order, but tonight I’m going to do a facial.  I like facials; it’s one of the few girlie things I like to do.  Maybe it will relax me and help me sleep better.

Sorry this post is so long.  There are just so many details… I could already fill a book.  More to come soon.

 

There were so many distractions to doing this today:

  • I hadn’t yet gone grocery shopping, so I wasn’t prepared.  Solution: I did a partial fast.
  • I got a late start on my water.  Solution: I’ve been trying to drink more to make up for it, but I’m still behind.
  • My mother and sister are still eating junk food from last night.  Solution: Try to eat away from them and avoid that junk food!

I did do my “to do” for the day.  I have a fitness journal.  I’ve already put in what I’ve eaten and drunk today.  Still need to document my sleep, exercise, how I feel… no real pampering done.  Oh, it also had a spot for putting in my weight and measurements.  I’m already down to 154.2 (8 pound loss in the last six months).  At 5’9″, this is within my acceptable weight range.  Now I just have to work on my measurements, which means more weights.

If you want to make your own health journal, start on the first page with your measurements and weight and any goals for the month.  On every page following, document every bite that goes in your mouth and every drink that goes in your body.  Keep track not only of dedicated periods of exercise (today I ran), but also of how active you are the rest of the time (sat in front of the TV all day vs. did housework and ran errands).  Don’t forget to note how much sleep you got the night before, then rate your energy level from 1 (nearly comatose) to 3 (average) to 5 (extra energy to spare).

For the record here, I got 9 hours of sleep and, although I’m now a little tired from all the things I got done today, I haven’t felt sleepy-tired all day, so I’m going to rate the day at a 4.

See you tomorrow!

As part of my New Year’s Resolutions, I plan to do a January detox.  Detoxifying your body is actually an ancient practice, with roots in many religions, that is taking hold again (although you’re usually labeled “New Age” if you take part in it).  However, since it’s also very Biblical to cleanse your body, I’m going to try one this year.  It’s a jump-start to my New Year’s Resolutions for health.

Tuesday, January 1– Start a health journal.  Record all food, drink, exercise, sleep, “pampering activities” (see more on that below), energy level (1-10), and how I feel.

Wednesday, January 2– Clean out the cabinets and refrigerators.  If I have food in there that will tempt me, I’m more likely to fail.  Be ruthless!  Why hang onto a box of processed food I really don’t want to eat?

Thursday, January 3– Drink 8 oz of warm (cold acceptable) lemon water each morning to start the day.  Also drink 70 oz of water each day; only 16 ox can come from green or herbal teas (unsweetened).  Cut out all soda and coffee drinks (since I don’t drink coffee black) and don’t have a rare alcoholic drink.  Get a good, non-BPA bottle for home and another to keep at work.  Cost: ~$30.

Friday, January 4– Resolve to only eat whole foods this month.  No fast food.  No processed foods.  If I can’t decipher the ingredient label (or my grandmother wouldn’t recognize it), don’t put it in my body.  If God didn’t make it, don’t ingest it.

Saturday, January 5– Cut out all refined sugars for the rest of this month, even the better ones like honey and blackstrap molasses.

Sunday, January 6– Use a dry skin brush before I shower.  Toxins are being released, mostly through my sweat and urine.  I don’t want that dwelling on my skin.  Cost: ~$15.

Monday, January 7– Join a gym.  Then use it.

Tuesday, January 8– Read The New Detox Diet (Chaci), Beauty Detox Solution (Snyder), or Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox(Deluz).  Check these out from the library.

Wednesday, January 9– Sign up for a CSA and/or start using the local farmers’ market every week.  Think local and unprocessed.

Thursday, January 10– Have an aromatherapy/ yoga session at home.  Relax, shut out outside distractions, and pray or meditate.  Soft singing is okay.

Friday, January 11– Look for a local seafood wholesaler or somewhere to buy “fresh from the sea” seafood.  Make “Fish Friday” my own tradition.

Saturday, January 12– Spend the day recharging in nature and in a partial fast.  Pack a small New Testament, at least 64 oz of water, and an “emergency” snack of nuts, fruit, and vegetables.  Then get away from it all and spend the day outdoors.

Sunday, January 13– Cut out all processed grains.  Limit quinoa, buckwheat (kasha), and amaranth to one serving per day through end of cleanse.

Monday, January 14– Go to bed earlier.  Cut down on indoor lighting and use F.lux on the computer to cut out blue light.  Consider buying blue light-blocking glasses.

Tuesday, January 15– Give myself at at-home facial, using natural ingredients.

Wednesday, January 16– Find a source for grass-fed beef and commit to eating only grass-fed and free-range in the future.  For the duration of the cleanse, however, cut out all red meat and chicken. Fish is still okay.

Thursday, January 17– Get a loofah for the shower.  Gently exfoliate every shower.

Friday, January 18– Commit to one day of rest and fasting (water and juice allowed only) every week.  Because of my schedule, sundown on Thursday to sundown on Friday works best.  Remember to break the fast gently.

Saturday, January 19– Get outside and play!  Use short bursts of high exertion (sprint level) to stress and strengthen heart and muscles.

Sunday, January 20–  Cut out all dairy products and eggs.  When the cleanse is over, commit to whole, fresh organic milk and free-range eggs.

Monday, January 21– Get a massage.  Drink at least 16 ounces of water before the massage and 16 ounces again after.

Tuesday, January 22– Add more spices, fresh or dried, to meals.  Fresh is best, but dried can still have potency.

Wednesday, January 23– Cut out fish.  Foods should be limited whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and nuts.

Thursday, January 24– Make a commitment to avoid additives and GMOs.  Read Food Additives: A Shopper’s Guide to What’s Safe & What’s Not by Christine Hoza.

Friday, January 25– Test and monitor my pH.  Properly balanced urine pH is 6.4 to 6.75.  Properly balanced saliva pH is 7.0 to 7.4.  I’m made to be alkaline.

Saturday, January 26– Start making own fresh juices.  Consider getting a juicer.

Sunday, January 27– Finish up strong.  For the next five days, eat as follows:

  • 1 cup of raw, juiced, or cooked dark leafy greens- 2+ servings per day
  • 1 cup of raw, juiced, or cooked rainbow veggies- 2+ servings per day
  • 1/2 cup cooked legume or starchy vegetable per day
  • 1/2 cup cooked or 1 cup raw whole grains per day
  • 3-4 ounces of fruits- 2 servings per day, not counting lemon juice in the morning
  • 1 tbsp of coconut oil or shaved coconut or 1/3 c coconut milk per day
  • 1 tbsp flaxseed oil or 1 tsp fish oil- 2 servings per day for Omega-3s
  • 1/2 to 1 avocado per day, plus 1 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 tbsp of seeds or a very small handful of nuts per day
  • Optional 1 cup of almond/rice milk per day
  • 1 tbsp ground flaxseed each day
  • 1 tbsp ground cocoa powder or cacao nibs
  • 1 8 oz glass of warm lemon water each morning
  • 75 oz pure water (green or herbal tea allowed but doesn’t count toward 75 ounces)
  • Free use of parsley, garlic, onions, cayenne, bay leaves, cilantro, cinnamon, curry, dill, ginger, and dried mustard
  • One serving of real miso soup allowed per day

Monday, January 28– Use a sauna.  Be sure to drink plenty of water before, during, and after.  Exceed the day’s 75 ounce goal.

Tuesday, January 29– Stay educated.  Read up on sites like http://www.processedfreeamerica.org and http://www.ewg.org .

Wednesday, January 30– Start planning my menus for February, especially during the crucial period coming out of the cleanse.  Take it slow re-introducing foods and watch for allergies and sensitivities.  Consider cutting those foods out entirely.

Thursday, January 31– I did it!  Consider a water-only fast until sundown, then bring juices back.  Remember to keep up the food journal and be willing to cut some foods out forever.  If I feel better, it’s worth it.

As each day comes up, I will be blogging on it, so if you want to follow my journey, please keep an eye on this blog.

I’m a list girl.  I love lists.  I love goals.  I like to make goals, on lists, and check them off.  New Year’s Resolutions should be my thing, right?

Well, yes and no.

I don’t like big, sweeping resolutions that you have to wait a full year to see progress in.  I absolutely hate waiting that long for anything.  Life should be broken down into manageable chunks so you regularly have the joy of saying, “I DID THAT!”

So that’s what I’m going to do.  I don’t have New Year’s Resolutions.  I have a very detailed list of my goals for the next three months.  There are five major categories: spiritual, mental, physical, financial, and relational.  Each category may have up to three sub-categories.  Then each sub-category will have three goals (three months, right?).  In the Bible, three is the number that means “complete” (thank you, Pastor Epler!).  I like three.  So there will be lots of threes in my list.

I’m going to have trouble with some of these.  I won’t complete them all… and that’s okay.  I’ll need to have a new set of goals in three months and this will give me a place to start.  I’d love to be held accountable for this list, though.  Want to come along on my journey?

THE LIST: January 2013 to March 2013

SPIRITUAL: God

  1. Talk to Him every morning and dedicate my day.
  2. Talk to Him every evening and thank Him for the day.
  3. Keep an actual prayer list (on my phone, maybe?).

SPIRITUAL: Bible

  1. Keep up on my through the Bible in one year plan.
  2. Do the Beth Moore Bible study in my drawer (’cause it’s doing no good in there!)
  3. Memorize one verse a month (preferably a chunk).  I can up my game later.

SPIRITUAL: Church

  1. Join a church instead of attending haphazardly.
  2. Volunteer at said church.
  3. Tithe at said church.  (Probably going to put this one under financial, too.)

MENTAL- Learning

  1. Recertify in CPR and First Aid for the professional rescuer.
  2. Research and decide on a fitness/ wellness certification program.
  3. Read three books on Colitis and managing the disease.

MENTAL- Reading

  1. Time to get back to the classics.  Since I just watched Les Miserables, re-read the book (Victor Hugo).
  2. Re-read the English side of Les Mis, A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens).
  3. Read George Orwell’s 1984.  How have I gone this long without reading it, anyway?

MENTAL- Creative

  1. Journal daily (also part of fitness).  Note to self: buy a good journal!
  2. Blog at least two times a week.
  3. Sing (not the kind you do in the shower) at least once a week and find somewhere to perform: karaoke, church, quincineras, whatever.

PHYSICAL- Exercise

  1. Have a minimum of one hour of activity six days a week (see that journal to keep track).
  2. Join a gym.
  3. Be able to do by the end:
  • 30 situps/ crunches
  • 30 pushups (not the girly kind)
  • 30 dips
  • 30 squats with proper form
  • 30 lunges
  • Sub-10 minute mile
  • 5 miles without walking

PHYSICAL- Nutrition

  1. Do a one-month cleanse. Figure out foods that harm me (see journal!)
  2. Drink 70 oz of water/ day. Would be good to have non-BPA bottles at work AND at home.
  3. Eat 5 servings of vegetables and 2 servings of fruit each day.

PHYSICAL- General

  1. Sleep 6-8 hours every night.  Never repeat less than six hours two nights in a row.
  2. Get sunlight (weather permitting) at least four days each week.
  3. Keep a health journal (within the regular journal?)

FINANCIAL- Debt

  1. Pay off OB CC.
  2. Pay off T CC.
  3. Pay down SF debt by $500.

FINANCIAL- Planning

  1. Make a real budget.
  2. Log ALL expenditures.  (Make or buy an expenses log)
  3. Put $100 into savings.

FINANCIAL- Other

  1. Resolve 401k issues.
  2. Tithe.  Period.
  3. NO impulse buying.

RELATIONSHIPS- Friends

  1. Have at least one get-together with Connie Carlson Sloan.
  2. Have at least one get-together with Angela Stantorf.
  3. Have at least one get-together with Matthew Page.

RELATIONSHIPS- Kids

  1. Have at least one date-night per kid.
  2. Have Darian’s SuperBowl party.
  3. Go whale watching.

RELATIONSHIPS- General

  1. Vegas Mingle with friends.
  2. Visit with Vegas friends OUTSIDE the Mingle.
  3. Spend one night a week hanging out with Kisner clan.

HOME

  1. Get a good bed setup for the kids.
  2. Make kitchen more cooking-friendly.
  3. Do an-indepth spring cleaning.

Okay, the last one didn’t have three divisions and it looks a little vague, but, overall, this list is fairly specific and very doable.  As time goes by, I will update where I’m at and, hopefully, inspire someone to make their own resolutions a reality.

Happy New Year!